April is Stress Awareness Month, so I wanted to address the stress factor of being on a fertility journey and offer you support to stay connected as a couple during this time. The journey to parenthood can quickly move away from an exciting time to an emotionally demanding experience, especially when struggling to conceive or if IVF is required. Between tracking cycles, fertility appointments, and the stress of trying to conceive (TTC), it’s easy for romance and emotional connection to take a backseat. However, staying connected as a couple is just as important as focusing on fertility itself. Prioritising your relationship not only strengthens your bond but also creates a supportive and loving environment to navigate this journey together.
Here are some simple yet meaningful ways to maintain intimacy and connection with your partner during your fertility journey:
1. Stop Telling Him When You Are Ovulating
This was a brilliant tip that the wonderful fertility acupuncturist Emma Cannon shared with me when we were at the early stages of our fertility journey. While tracking ovulation is essential, constantly sharing this information with your partner can turn intimacy into a scheduled task rather than a natural and loving experience. Instead, focus on fostering closeness and romance, letting intimacy feel spontaneous rather than pressured.
2. Have Intimacy Through Other Means
Physical connection isn’t just about sex. Holding hands, a kiss, cuddling, giving each other massages, or even sharing a deep conversation can reinforce your emotional and physical bond. These small gestures can make intimacy feel less like a goal and more like a source of comfort, connection and love.
3. Schedule Regular Date Nights
Fertility treatments and tracking can become all-consuming, making it easy to neglect quality time as a couple. Scheduling regular date nights—whether a dinner out, a fun activity, or a cozy evening at home—helps keep your relationship vibrant. Remember that just because you’re on your fertility journey, it doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to a lovely meal and glass of wine with your partner. Make these moments about enjoying each other’s presence, not discussing fertility.
4. Plan a Getaway Together
A change of scenery can be incredibly refreshing for your relationship. Whether it’s a weekend away or just a day trip, stepping outside of your daily routine allows you to reconnect without distractions. Plus, relaxation can have a positive impact on overall well-being, which benefits fertility. We also know from the research that time in nature is incredibly good for our mental wellbeing so consider a trip to the countryside or seaside.
5. Consider Therapy
The emotional toll of trying to conceive and the IVF process can be overwhelming. Couples therapy or individual counseling can provide valuable tools for managing stress, improving communication, and working through challenges together. A professional can help you both navigate this journey without letting stress create distance between you. Finding the right therapist is a personal choice but I would point you towards the team at Fertility Support.
6. Prioritise Emotional Check-Ins
A simple tool to use are emotional check ins. Set aside time each week to talk about your emotions, hopes, and any stress you may be feeling. Ensuring that both partners feel heard and supported strengthens your connection and helps you navigate the journey as a team. Often men may not be as forthcoming at sharing their emotions so this will allow time for both of you to share how you feel each week.
7. Engage in Shared Activities
When TTC, you can lose sight of what things bring you joy as your sole focus becomes having a baby. Reconnect with your shared interests or find hobbies or activities that you both enjoy—cooking, hiking, climbing, watching a favorite show—to build connection outside of trying to conceive. Shared experiences will bring back some joy and strengthen your bond as a couple.
8. Surprise Each Other with Small Gestures
Romance isn’t just about big gestures—it’s in the small things, too. Outside of the obvious times of the year like Valentines day or birthdays, leaving a sweet note, sending a funny photo from your memories, preparing a favourite meal, or planning a spontaneous date can keep the spark alive and remind each other of your love and appreciation.
9. Practice Gratitude Together
Each day, share something you appreciate about each other. Shifting the focus from the pressure of conceiving to recognising the strengths in your relationship fosters positivity and emotional connection. If you can’t achieve this on a daily basis, at least try weekly gratitude on the weekends for example, when you have a little more time to share a moment together.
10. Try Mindfulness or Meditation Together
Stress can be a major challenge during this journey, whether trying naturally or via IVF. Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or relaxation techniques as a couple can bring a sense of calm and unity, reinforcing your emotional connection. This can be as simple as listening to a sleep meditation at bedtime or signing up to some fertility yoga sessions as a couple. I am a big fan of fertility yoga and Alex Taylor is my go to for client referrals. She has supported many couples on their fertility journeys and creates a safe space for you to take some time out and be mindful together.
Remember, It’s a Couple’s Journey
Navigating fertility challenges can feel isolating at times, but remember that you’re in this together. Strengthening your bond during this process will not only support your journey but will also create a strong foundation for the future.
If you're looking for additional support and guidance, my Couple’s Fertility Package is designed to help you strengthen your connection as a couple whilst working towards your fertility goals.
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